Massacred

Go left at 50, then go left on 50, then go right at second opportunity to do so, then go right on Colorado 96, then go right upon principal highway.

If you're a British navigator then the above route instructions will probably be foreign to you, since they come from the US-based St. Valentine's Day Massacre table-top map navigation event. Now in its 43rd year, this is by far the longest running event of its kind, attracting almost 3000 competitors at its peak in 1981. 

The route instructions will take you on a tour across North America using a Rand McNally Atlas of 136 pages, and with a scale averaging 20 miles to an inch, this is roughly the equivalent of following a course on an OS Wall Map of the UK. Despite the scale, these maps do lend themselves to navigational trickery, which has no parallel on Ordnance Survey maps - details later. (I had hoped to show map samples from the Atlas, but the publishers refused permission. I can email scans to interested readers.)

When I first tackled the event in 2003, there was a steep learning curve to get my head around the plotting procedures and getting 31 questions wrong out of 80 proved that I never quite managed it. The following year should have been better, but another 31 mistakes said otherwise except I had the small satisfaction that I was class B "Champion of England" by beating one other competitor from England. This year I worked really hard and spent ages checking and double-checking my answers, but still scored 21 mistakes and a lowly 183rd from 306 starters. I am in awe of the six competitors that cleaned the event. Only seven non-Americans took part, this time five from England.

My interest in the event was two-fold this year. Yes, I'm a devotee of home-based navigation events, but later this year I am hoping to take part in a long American TSD (Time, Speed and Distance) event - the equivalent of UK regularities - and apparently, the navigational principles on the Massacre closely follow those often used on TSDs.

Navigation on the event is primarily based on four course following rules. Rule a) is easy. If you are instructed to turn left, go north - you do it, no problem. Rule b) is the "on" rule and now the problems start.

Let me try to make it easier by using OS map equivalents. If I said turn right on to the A12, the keyword "on" directs you to stay on the A12 until further notice. Whether the road is coloured red or green, is a dual carriageway or not, doesn't matter, so long as the road is named A12. If the designation changes to A12(T), in Massacre terms this is a different road and rules c) and d) must be used - I'm coming to those soon. In addition, if the A12 terminates or appears to terminate because the road number/name is missing (this is often the case on the US maps), the same applies.

You must take note of this crucial word "on". If the instructions say "upon", this is subtly different, and the obligation to stay on the road no longer applies with rules c) and d) ultimately taking over.

Rule c) says if rules a) and b) can't be followed then stay on the same type of road. So, if you are travelling "on" or "upon" a yellow road, then at subsequent junctions you must stay on a yellow road.

But what happens if you reach, say, a pair of yellows or a junction with an A road? Now rule d) is the only option - the straight-ahead rule; this says that you must travel as straight as possible. 

That's the route-following theory, although the practice on the Rand McNally Atlas is far from easy. You have to be extraordinary vigilant in spotting road number changes, particularly since the numbering is often state specific. Crossing, say, from Nevada to Oregon on a highway numbered Nevada 56, you cannot assume that you continue your journey on the Oregon 56, Oregon may have decided to call the highway by a different number. 

Reaching the physical boundary of a map page or the defined boundary of a city - with a larger scale map - brings new complications. But enough of navigation, you've probably already gathered that Massacre plotting requires a different mindset to the one you would employ on OS maps.

Not all the instructions will refer directly to road numbers. They can be disguised in many forms or you may have a puzzle to solve before you can continue on your way.

You could still plot your route perfectly and end up in last place, because the route check questions will further test your observation and logic. Most of the route checks ask "Do you see X?" See means that X must be within a quarter of a map inch of your route. X can be one of two forms. If "X" (in quotes), you are searching specifically for an overprinted "X" on the map. Looking for "75", a printed road number of 75 qualifies, but 75A wouldn't. If X (no quotes), you are concerned with a marked feature or place of interest such as a park or historic building. Great care is required here. For example, with a building named as Museum of Art, you could "see" any of form of letter case or partial name such as museum, Of or ART.

State districts - called counties - caught me out a few times. Asked "Did you see Cando?" I answered "No" for the town, but I had travelled through the same named county so the answer should have been "Yes".

Occasionally the question will be more complicated. This year there was a seemingly easy puzzle requiring a time, speed and distance calculation. The obvious answer was one hour, but since the route crossed from the Central Time Zone to the Mountain Time Zone, the correct answer was two hours. Not the kind of problem we have in navigating through tiny Britain.

The background narrative of your virtual journey relates to driving American cars and swapping them during the event. Embedded within this are humorous happenings, no doubt appreciated by American competitors, but were foreign to me. Don't be sidetracked, in most cases you can ignore the underlying story and concentrate on the all-important route following instructions.

The event takes place during January and February, so you will have eight weeks to answer the questions. The generous timing doesn't matter. Over the two months, I estimate I spent about 12 hours puzzling, and was sure I would achieve a perfect score. More time won't help when you've convinced yourself that your answer is right and have been trapped into the false sense security designed by the organisers. The organisers are very approachable though; I emailed some queries and received useful general, (understandably not specific) advice shortly afterwards.

The Massacre is not cheap ($39), but does include the required Rand McNally Atlas and is good value winter entertainment. Payment is awkward - the organisers only accept dollar checks(!) or cash. 
With more entries from British competitors in 2007, perhaps we could prove that we know a thing or two about map navigation on this side of the pond. 

If anyone is interested in taking part next year, let me know and I'll organise a group payment scheme to make the entry process easier.

To receive a St. Valentine's Day Massacre brochure in the post next December, in advance of the 2007 competition, check out the registration details at http://home.earthlink.net/~oldmaltese/Massacre.html.


"Crow"
April 19, 2006